IF YOU NEED HELP

IF YOU NEED HELP: If you are reading this and feeling depressed or worse, please reach out to these organizations: Crisis line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) , Crisis text line: text HOME to 741741. You are worthy of love, and there are people like me who genuinely understand what you are feeling and want you to get through this. With love, Victoria

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Sneezing in the Sunlight

It's been a sunny day today, warm for late October. It's the one of the last warm ones here for a while. I left work, sunlight on my face, and remembered something that made me smile. Sunlight made her sneeze. The last week or two have been memories and realizations that have stopped me in my tracks but this one felt...good.
There are a lot of sweet, beautiful things to remember:  
-A fairy birthday party where we made dresses and wands. I wish I could remember more of it but when I try to remember anything else, I can't.
-Multiple visits to beaches, her floating and playing in the sand, our silly river beach with them "surfing the waves" from the ships, and the trips to Tahoe. 
-Berry picking and jam making
-Shakespeare-Taming of the Shrew on a cool lawn after dark in July.
-Her as Puck in Midsummer Night's Dream. She was so good. 
She was a summer baby, and a lot of the best of my memories are in sunshine.
-The canal du midi, where we read Howls Moving Castle and had a hundred crazy adventures. 
-Venice, which she told us she wanted to live in when she grew up.
-Her cupcake obsession and vanilla obsession which led to delicious experiments in baking.
-Her introduction to eating east coast Chinese food outside of Boston.
-Touring UMass Amherst and Hampshire College and Smith college. At Amherst, we ditched the tour being given by the athlete who had little interest in academics instead, exploring the parts of the campus she was interested in.  Hampshire College. That would have been such a good place for her...she thought about transferring, in part staying you take care of her fragile, emotionally manipulative boyfriend.
-Her 21st birthday at a drag show with my elderly parents, drinking champagne and cheering loudly.

The Velvet bag with the box of her ashes sits on the mantle. Below it, photos she took. To the left and right, other art that she had created. 
I am supposed to be calling another mom who lost a child, so I should stop writing. I am uncomfortable about this, suddenly don't know why I am doing it.
I like this silence, this distance from the realities of cooking and cleaning and work and  family. But the sun is going down, and I  made a promise. 
(Edit: she did not answer the phone)

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